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Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Happiness, Motivation and Personal Struggles

Right now, I'm finding mornings really tough. For some reason, I'm not in a good place mentally and it seems to be a self perpetuating cycle. I know I need to break it but I really have no idea how.


I am somebody who is greatly affected by emotion. I make decisions based on how I feel and I find that my brain can work pretty differently when I'm sad verses when I'm happy. Maybe this is the case for everyone, occurring in different quantities and among other things; maybe some people aren't affected at all. All I know and all that I can ever be expected to know is how my own brain works.

Right now it feels like my progress is reset with the dawn of every day. Regardless of how hard I push and how much work I've put into breaking the cycle, I always go straight back to square one. I could go to bed happy and still wake up with weight on my shoulders. It seems like nothing I do is ever enough. And I guess you could say that's what kicks off the downwards spiral.

So when you have nothing to do and nowhere to be, how do you give your day structure? How can you even begin to think about waking up at eight when you know there's no real need to? I think one of the biggest things I'm struggling with is lack of motivation. There are things I could be doing and ways I could give my day structure which may even make me happier which would give me an abundance of motivation which I could even begin to spread amongst friends and family. So why don't I just do them?

Lack. Of. Motivation.

Argh!! This is so frustrating! I know that if I just found a way to start off the day right, I'd begin an upwards spiral of happiness. And with happiness comes motivation (for me anyway). If you could measure the two, I hypothesise that their relationship would be directly proportional and I wonder if that's the same for everyone. Aaand I seem to have gone off on a bit of a tangent...

So what are you going to do now, Naomi? Are you going to sit here wishing for happiness or are you going to go out there and find it for yourself? I know that you know yourself better than to think even for a second that you'd get anywhere if you choose anything but the latter. You know that the only place you can find motivation and happiness and fulfilment from within. You know that if you go out there and search for it, you'll find it.

There's motivation all around us, all we need to do is search for it.

And don't you dare give up.

"If you're going through hell, keep going."
  -Winston Churchill